Should I Share a Bank Account with my Husband?
Fighting about money is one of the top three issues for all couples (along with sex and chores).
Whether or not to share a bank account with your spouse is something I get asked about all the time.
I actually recommend a hybrid system to manage your money with a spouse. When the system is setup right, it allows you to throw your money at your goals, while still maintaining a little bit of financial independence.
The Hybrid System of Sharing Bank Accounts.
The hybrid system is the best of both worlds. You each have money that you can do whatever you want with but your money (and therefore your goals are still aligned together).
First, let’s cover why I recommend the hybrid system. I want two things from our money management system. I want my husband to feel like he’s an equal in our budget and not like he has to beg me or even ask me for money.
Mostly though, I want our system to put the financial goals together first. Even before our individual wants. I also want to make the system easy to understand and use.
Step By Step Guide to The Hybrid System:
All of our money comes into one account, which we both have access to. This account is our main budgeting account, so Jon works with me to decide every month what to do with money coming into that account. One we set the budget together, then it’s my responsibility to make our decisions a reality and not to stray from our plan. We have weekly meetings to make sure that gets done.
We also each have a separate Paypal account with an attached debit card for fun money. The money that’s budgeted as “fun money” for each of us gets transferred to there. We started at $10/month and now are up to about $200 each/month as our income has drastically increased through side hustles and our goals are being achieved.
We can use the paypal debit account to spend our money pretty much anywhere (the debit card runs on Mastercard), and if needed, can take money out from an ATM (however they have a $1.50 fee to do this and our regular bank (USAA) doesn’t, so if we need cash for a Close5 purchase, we transfer it to our regular bank account and take it out that way.
What’s the difference between this and having separate accounts and then a third account for bills. Technically there isn’t much. But when you pay your individual accounts first and then transfer money to your budgeting account, you’re putting the emphasis on yourselves as individuals and not your shared goals.
Which to me, really hinders your ability to achieve your big goals in life. I want you both working to achieve your goals together and having your “fun money” as just a small part of those larger goals.
Need help getting your husband to stop spending money? I can help you with that here!
Overwhelmed at the idea of starting a budget? I can help you with an easy step by step guide here!
Want to add a little extra ‘fun money” to your account, Ibotta is the easiest way to do that. You can learn more about that here.
Do you have fun money every month? How much?
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I can’t get my husband to categorize his expenses in our joint back account. Any suggestions on what to do?
I’m still single, but I have I have a separate “flex spending” account which is for my discretionary spending! When the money is gone, the money is gone and there’s nothing I can do about it, so I’m diligent about only allocating to it as I should be!
I’m not married, but having a separate account for “fun money” seems like a great idea. I have several savings accounts for different areas of my life, why not do the same with my spending accounts? Thanks!
This is an interesting way to think about it – I’m not married yet but have been thinking about whether it makes sense to get a joint bank account. The way you go about it really emphasises the ‘ours’ and not the ‘mine’.
always keep in your name only (or married name): at least 1 credit card and 1 acct (checking/savings etc).
use the credit card or other acct once in awhile to keep your own credit report; that way should anything go astray (death/divorce etc), you will already have credit in your name alone. dont have to shutdown accts (especially credit cards), and re open in your name or establish your own credit.
better to have joint household acct, then one for you and him, to spend or save as you wish – no questions asked.
All of our accounts are joint owned. We do however each have our “own” account that is our spending money.
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