This is a guest post written by Elle of Simplify and Enjoy. I love her views on this!
How to Get Your Spouse on Board with Simplifying
How did 2015 go for you and your family? Looking back, we’ve had some huge things to celebrate and unfortunately we’ve had a ton of chaos to deal with as well.
After reviewing and reflecting on all the highs and lows of this year, we know that we needed to make adjustments.
Seeing all that we were trying to take on, I felt that simplifying our finances and lives would be the best solution.
I got fired up and the next time we got together, I told my husband about the plan. I was so enthusiastic and couldn’t wait to see him jump in.
Except he didn’t.
The idea of cutting back made his eyes glaze over – definitely not the reaction I was going for.
Finding a Way to Simplify Together
The good news is that I realized my approach was wrong and with an adjustment, we’re now on the same page.
I’ve found these three steps to be crucial to simplifying together.
- Create Your Why Together
- Set the Example
- Support Your Wins
Here’s how they can help you!
Get Excited Together on the Why
It might seem kind of simplistic, but nailing down your why together and documenting it one way or another is powerful.
I stepped away from the process and instead focus on why simplifying would be a blessing for our family. Some big ones:
- We’d both have more time and energy to hang out and enjoy our girls.
- Simplified finances meant we could travel together, something we want to share with our kids.
- Finally we’d have more time for our congregation and community.
One of my favorite ways to do brainstorm your why is a date night. Have some fun!
Enjoy the evening and just talk about what you two want to do once you’ve simplified.
What projects would you like to take on as a family, as individuals? What would your schedule look like? How would you like to spend your money?
Your answers are yours, so don’t worry or compare it to others.
Lead By Example
One powerful way you can help your spouse is by simplifying your life first. Seeing the benefits can be the kick in the pants they need to get started.
I saw the huge impact this had when I spoke to Toni from Debt Free Divas about how she and her husband dug out from six figures of debt.
They both wanted to get rid of it, but they didn’t agree on how the would do it.
Toni wanted to go gazelle intense and knock it out as fast as possible, but her husband didn’t want to put their life on hold while they worked through it.
Instead of berating him or arguing Toni decided to put into practice what she learned. That spurred her husband and together they got rid of that heavy burden.
So don’t feel discouraged if your husband or wife isn’t on the bandwagon right away.
Make those changes and don’t be surprised to find them joining you soon enough.
Support Their Progress
We all have different strengths and the strongest marriages I’ve seen are the ones that celebrate them.
Sometimes that means that they approach the situation from another angle than you would.
Let them know how much you appreciate the effort. It can go a long ways to building up your marriage.
Thoughts on Getting Your Board with Simplifying
While I love to say that its smooth sailing once you two are on board, the reality is simplifying can be stressful and you will hit rough patches.
I always find it fascinating to hear from other families how they work stuff out.
Have you ever had to get your spouse on board on some project? What was it? How did it go?
Elle is a wife, mom, and founder of Couple Money who is looking to make 2016 her best year ever. Join in on the fun over at Simplify and Enjoy.
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Great post. It is sometimes difficult for 2 people to see eye to eye on anything, and money can be particularly a tense subject. My husband and I first started our financial journey to be debt free about a year and four months ago. I will say that I had to convince him a little. I literally just laid it all out. My “why” was the way I wanted our lives to be in the future. I saw us travelling more, spending time with our kids, never missing sporting events, and just having the freedom to do what we wanted to do. My husband travels for a living and I think it really resonated with him once I told him how much he could potentially miss out on if we did not get our money under control. My why was so compelling, I think he just got it at that point. Great tips. Thanks for posting.
Becky recently posted…3 Pieces of Advice I Would Give A New Real Estate Investor
Thanks Becky – I agree that presenting it in a way that shows how you both benefit can make a huge difference. Spouses tend to have different perspectives so it’s crucial how we frame things.
Elle recently posted…Buying a House – Run the Numbers!
It can be hard to see eye to eye on anything, but money can be especially a tense subject. My husband and I first started our financial journey to be debt free about a year and four months ago. I will say that I had to convince him a little. I literally just laid it all out. My “why” was the way I wanted our lives to be in the future. I saw us travelling more, spending time with our kids, never missing sporting events, and just having the freedom to do what we wanted to do. My husband travels for a living and I think it really resonated with him once I told him how much he could potentially miss out on if we did not get our money under control. My why was so compelling, I think he just got it at that point. Great tips. Thanks for posting.
Becky recently posted…3 Pieces of Advice I Would Give A New Real Estate Investor
My husband is so supportive with our debt free journey. He learned how to cut my son’s hair so we could save money. He is also a homebody like me so we have fun at home together without having to go out and spend tons of money. We talk about our goals our why and that keeps us going. I also make sure he knows that we do have some fun money set aside because I think every budget needs no matter how gazelle intense you want to start out with–you need a buffer for fun.
Yes! Having some fun money included in the budget can make all the difference. It’s easy to get discourage by big changes, so having a little bit of buffer for fun and motivation can be empowering.
Elle recently posted…Yard Makeover: The 2016 Plan
This is awesome! I do think that it’s easier if you have your spouse on board when simplifying your life. Otherwise it’s an uphill battle. My partner and I have decided to put together a plan this year to change the way we look at finances. We are pretty good on the whole, but I think a plan – and as you said celebrating the why – would really help.